Having the courage to be vulnerable and allow space for the other person to be vulnerable can break through this ice. You’re letting them know you care what they have to say. Remembering and using someone’s name is one of the smallest acts that speaks the loudest. But rather to stop and really look them in the eye. The “Cocktail Party” Effect, revealed in a 2006 study, shows that we can hear our name even in a room full of crowded people and loud voices. Of course, that doesn’t mean complaining. Allow failure to teach and give you inspiration in your life and career. The customers at a restaurant might not even have noticed that their server touched them on the shoulder, but their body would have immediately reacted by increasing dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin (the “happy brain” chemicals) and decreasing cortisol levels (the stress hormones). How would that make you feel? A true connection is hard to come by, partly because it’s not every day someone comes along that you immediately click with and partly because a real connection is often mistaken for something else entirely, whether it be the honeymoon phase of a relationship or just straight up sexual attraction. A voice that’s lower and smoother is more likely to convince us that the owner is calm and competent enough to be a leader. It helps the conversation flow naturally. Every time I play the game with friends, I'm always thrown off by that card. It’s what we all crave for… ~ Luminita D. Saviuc. I long for a genuine connection a person that I can bare my soul to that will do the same in return. By his teens, he had already broken 300 bones in his body due to a rare genetic disease called Brittle Bone disease. Sean suggests that listening doesn’t just happen when we stop speaking. The Human Connection: Why It Matters. This is exactly what Clinton does, and it works wonders. Since then, I have engaged in even more daily conversations about the importance, yet current lack, of human connection. Why do so many of us feel so lonely? When you’re talking with someone and your eyes are not on them but the person you consider “the most important person in the room,” you’re sending out the energy that you don’t care or value the person right in front of you. ( What that beautiful woman says to her husband at minute 3:15… I really feel you will LOVE that! Her acclaimed blog post, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy , was shared by over 1.3 million people on Facebook. It’s easy to either dominate or disappear from the conversation. You may have noticed that connection occurs most often during moments of honesty and vulnerability. That’s why during our weekly meetings, we praise each other in front of the entire team. College counseling centers across the country have seen a marked increase in students struggling with anxiety (Center for Collegiate Mental Health, 2017). I don't know who all are familiar, but "genuine human connection" is an actual white card in the game "Cards Against Humanity." ... It’s a core, human need. A Whole9 guest post by Kate Galliett, creator of Fit for Real Life and The Unbreakable Body, an online strength and mobility program. It doesn’t have to be taken but it can be shared. “People want that connectivity that’s real” comments Mary, a Bottleshake app user. But this relentless online digital connection is not at all real social intimacy, and leads us to a deep feeling of solitude. You might think, “Well, I’m not the Dalai Lama, so what wisdom could I possibly have to share?”. “What do you do?” doesn’t cut it. But conversations aren’t one-man performances. In fact, Dr. Albert Mehrabian conducted several studies and found that only 7% of the information we take in about another person is through words. Connection is not an exchange of information. Richard Branson makes a point to ask the people he meets creative questions. In a study conducted by Dr. Cara Tigue and her colleagues, subjects were asked to vote for higher or lower-pitched versions of previous American Presidents. In order to connect, you have to share and ask for others to share. Studies show that vocal traits, such as pitch, texture, and modulation, influence who people consider likable, dominant, and competent. Because it’s not just about the lips; it’s about the eyes, too. The lower-pitched versions were chosen 69% of the time. So praise, and praise publicly. Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever celebrate yourself. You’ve probably answered that question a million and one times and so have they. Many believe that only a lucky few are born with the ability to connect with anyone — but that’s actually not the case. Could I brag to you about it?”. It’s astonishing when you realize that the Dalai Lama was exiled from his own land and is constantly under threat, but yet he still manages to be both wise and joyful at the same time. It’s still always about the people. Another powerful thing President Clinton did. People mingle, and talk to each other but don’t form connection. About 38% is through vocal elements like tone, and 55% is through nonverbal elements such as body language. This is how the I.A.P. Usually, people will be more than happy to hear how you’ve succeeded and they’ll offer you cheers of support. It’s important to be with the person you’re with. Even though we might think that in order for us to connect with those around us in a very deep and profound way, and in order for us to create genuine human connections we have to invest a lot of time and energy into our relationships, studies have shown that just 4 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact is all that it takes to increase intimacy. And Sean, more than anyone, knows what it takes to connect with people. The longest-running study in the world, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, has shown over the span of 80 years that a strong sense of community is the most significant factor in living a longer, happier life. The more difficult thing is to stay engaged. I love his wisdom and I simply can’t describe in words what I feel every time I listen to this […]. That’s the neat thing about advice. Sean noticed the Dalai Lama that the spiritual leader had a smile that was able to “melt an angry soldier’s heart.” By his mere presence, he can bring the people in the room closer together. Yes, technology is convenient. No exaggerating. by Cheyenne Diaz Real human connection. “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ~ Brené Brown. So here’s what works for me: Be open to random connections. It’s what we all need. Have you ever felt someone’s attention on another person as you were speaking to them? Light physical contact at just the right moment actually increases tips for restaurant servers, persuades subjects to share personal information, inspires individuals to help look for lost objects, and encourages people to sign petitions. However, today, finding great friendships or long lasting romantic relationships is rare. Most people wouldn’t blame the President for saying that he needed to discuss important matters with someone else. This means that when you’re remembering someone’s name, you’re not remembering a word; you’re remembering them. Listening takes place when you put your life on pause. For more details check out the 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page. And don’t just ask the “nice, safe” questions. That’s why President Clinton gives whoever he’s talking to 100% of his focus. Connection definition is - the act of connecting : the state of being connected: such as. It’s an exchange of emotion. The Human Connection gemeinnützige GmbH was founded in 2012 and is recognized and registered as a non-profit organization at the register court Amtsgericht Stuttgart under the registration number HRB 741951 due to the promotion of international spirit, tolerance in all areas of culture and the idea of international understanding. And I always play it in situations where others are going with crude humour, just to see if… After all, there’s no tax or cost for praising another individual. Richard Branson might own his own island but he also knows the value of humility. True connection isn’t what happens when your Bluetooth earbuds recognize your computer. I'm very lucky and blessed to say that those people are my support system and the people I value most in my life. This paper focuses on the intersection of technology and the challenges that contemporary students face in managing their anxiety and forming social connections. Scientific American is the essential guide to the most awe-inspiring advances in science and technology, explaining how they change our understanding of the world and shape our lives. Get to know them by asking questions. No matter what role you fill in a team, … by Dennis Reina. Nonverbal cues matter. How do you connect with people determined not to like you? Praise should flow out of you. A very weird morning routine? Compounding matters is the added burden of increasingly busy schedules. It’s one in which you and I come out from behind ourselves, into the conversation, and make it real. So why is a strong sense of human connection, something so natural and vital, so difficult for us to create? But we have noticed that technology can also drive quite a divide between us as we give attention to the virtual world instead of real people next to us. When Sean dined with him, he observed some of the qualities that really made the founder of Virgin stand out. These are the 4 strategies President Clinton used to inspire a sense of camaraderie: Here’s a quick insight: Everybody wants to be known. People tend to treat conversation as if it’s a competitive sport, trying to one-up the other person, “win” the debate, or display what they know. It’s no good to keep ourselves from praising others, either, because we think it will go to their heads or that somehow it detracts from your own greatness. That’s because we’re all innately social creatures, hard-wired to seek out a community. More often than not, the other person will have more to say. Otherwise, we may not face a world in which machines replicate humanity, but where humanity replicates machines. “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ~ Brené Brown. With the many things we have to do on a regular basis and all the thoughts that run through our minds, it can be quite challenging to give the people in our lives all the attention, love and acknowledgment they need and deserve. Stay mindful of whether you both have been able to talk about 50% of the time. True connections take time to develop—and they do not have ample time. In fact, praise is so powerful that people stay longer at companies and work harder when they feel appreciated for who they are at their workplace. Dunbar’s Number. Again, body language is important! Bottleshake is among this new trend of technologies focused on the human element; creating a new kind of enhanced, genuine connection. We need to feel supported, valued, and … The conversations range from discussions of customer engagement, employee-employer relations, and good old-fashioned personal relationships. Our bodies react in the same way. It’s also saved another person’s life. This is something we take to heart at Mindvalley. No, most likely it was because you felt they cared about you. We’d probably assume that the Dalai Lama is wise — but did you know that he’s playful as well? No stretching or omitting or spinning the truth. The answer is, “A lot.” According to Sean. Later on, it became the heart of her book, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy., book that was published by Penguin Random House. One hundred and fifty. What a human connection looks like. When Sean was working with President Bill Clinton, he noticed that even people with a vendetta against the man would leave with a smile on their face after a meeting. A genuine connection brings more than feelings. While I accept fewer invitations these days than I did a couple … That has the effect of inspiring a sense of human connection in almost everyone who sees you. That’s when connection takes place: the moment we feel that somebody cares about us, we’re open to learning from them. Value your connection to the other person more than being right or important. That attitude of his has put him on the same stage as the Dalai Lama, President Bill Clinton, and Sir Richard Branson. It might sound silly to say “check your voice,” but your voice actually does affect other people’s perceptions of you quite a bit. Open up to genuine human connection. Each and every one of us longs for genuine human connections. 5 Reasons Why You Can’t Establish Genuine Connections. After all, it’s one of the most effective, delightful things we can do. This app is the new way of meeting people and building relationships. It does mean that if you’re having a bad day, you can say, “I just want to let you know, I had a busy day at work and it took a lot out of me, but I’m going to try and stay as present and engaged as I can.” People will only respect you for that. It should be the goal of every recruiter. Richard Branson has a reputation for being successful, interesting, and eccentric — on top of being one of the most likable guys out there. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our […], How many times did it happen to you to know something for sure and to believe that what you knew was the truth, […], I love Wayne Dyer! Because now, more than ever, we want to feel something more real than the too-perfect square pictures on Instagram. It is a team member picking up the phone to touch base or scheduling a lunch or coffee with a client. Certainly human connectivity occurs one wonderfully fierce conversation at a time. This means you can a) get to know them better and b) know for certain that you didn’t unintentionally cut them off. Six months ago, I wrote an article about the power of human connection and how technology helps us stay connected. There are insights that you bring to the table because of your particular experiences and unique perspective. And Dr. Matthew Lieberman of UCLA showed that social pain is interpreted by the brain the same as physical pain. There different kinds of truth. A lot of us are so disconnected from the rest of the world and have trouble realizing what's reality and what isn't. All of that is okay. By his teens, he had already broken 300 bones in his body due to a rare genetic disease called Brittle Bone disease. The two are often mistaken for each other but here’s how you can tell the difference: A confident person will try to improve the relationship; an arrogant person will try to prove themselves. There’s nothing more awkward than inauthentic, stilted conversations. And Sean, more than anyone, knows what it takes to connect with people. We meet strangers, we get amused by their stories, and then we leave it at that. Connection is an exchange of humanity. And because we all have mirror neurons (the same neurons that cause you to yawn when you see another person yawn), other people will be much more likely to smile back at you. The human experience is a major competitive advantage. How do you make someone light up when they see you? Cheyenne Diaz is a Mindvalley Writer, who always gets creative inspiration when she takes hikes through her favorite place in the world, Big Sur, California. We all want straightforward communication. But imagine if you had the leader of the free world leaning into you to hear your opinion on something that matters to you — and then he thanks you for sharing. Human spirituality constitutes a further emergent property of the connection between matter and the Universe, produced at the natural organizational level of species and abstract consciousness. For example, I can count all of my close friends on one hand. In fact, our drive for human connection is so powerful that multiple studies have shown that feeling lonely and isolated is more detrimental to our health than smoking or obesity. What might just be a passing moment to you could save somebody else’s life. Why […] The reason, I believe, is that we all need to feel connected. When you make people feel seen, you end up having more engaging conversations and more opportunities to deeply connect. How often do you pause and take the time to think about what the other person is trying to say instead of trying to think of something to say? While this strategy requires sensitivity and discretion, physical touch can be extremely effective for establishing a connection. Wisdom is being in touch with your intuition, listening to yourself, being able to share valuable advice with someone regardless of whether they take it or not. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Genuine human connection can be so hard to find. Many people make this mistake in different ways: they try to create a connection with someone who doesn’t want it, or hope the person responds in a certain way, or want the other person to be something they’re not, and so on. The eyes are the window to the Soul. These last lessons are inspired by Sean’s own experiences. We carry our shyness, our cynicism, our competitiveness, and our pride with us. Humans to Humans The Next Wave of Human Connectivity • Visit our website, learn more about our programs, or sign up for an information session below: linktr.ee/genuinehumanconnection That is communication, says world-renowned speaker Sean Stephenson in this episode of the Mindvalley Podcast with Vishen Lakhiani. Having genuine connections between team members can be integral to overcoming challenges and growing. Celebrating someone else isn’t just a booster for them; it’s also a booster for you. It can be hard to break the habit of talking more than we listen, but you can take a page from Marie Forleo’s book and use the I.A.P., or the Intentional Awkward Pause. Embrace and recognize failure as a learning opportunity. Nobody wants a voice that sounds frantic and flustered. More likely than not, you already have several precious relationships in your life. Whatever it is, displaying it won’t be a problem, simply because the person you’re sharing all these weirdness with will not judge! But knowing someone who can control their own energy is attractive. And you allow yourself to also SEE the person sitting in front of you… In doing so, you open your heart to love. Brene Brown states clearly that we are "wired for connection" but what gets in the way is, in her opinion, our lack of vulnerability. He assumes that everybody around him has something interesting to say and prompts them to share with questions like: More creative questions engage the other person, help you learn more about them, and ultimately lead to better conversations and connections. And our lives will be forever changed. Connection is an exchange of humanity. And where love is present, creating genuine human connections becomes effortless and natural. How to Create Genuine Human Connections. Here, too, we find as we might expect, a reflection of the 4x3 universal fractal form in our religions, mythologies, legends, and cosmologies. more detrimental to our health than smoking or obesity, “What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?”, Or, “What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do because it could change your life, but you were too scared to start?”, Or you could use one of Vishen’s favorite questions: “What gets you out of bed in the morning?”. Here’s a tip: Get out of the weeds of weather and small talk. By letting go of all your thoughts, worries, and concerns, you allow yourself to be seen. The other reason we’re not able to connect with others is that, frankly, a lot of us carry some serious baggage that interferes with us caring about those we meet. ), eval(ez_write_tag([[336,280],'purposefairy_com-box-4','ezslot_3',122,'0','0']));~love, Luminita. Be honest if you’re a little bit tired. Interesting! Often considered one of the more humble entrepreneurs, Sean learned through his observations of Branson that there’s a distinct difference between confidence and humility. And that includes facial expressions. These are the 3 rules to follow to avoid Recruiter Spam and establish a human connection: i) Be Personal The truth is that the most important person in the room is the one right in front of you. As Sean spent time with some of the most charismatic and influential leaders in the world, he discovered 13 key strategies you can use to connect with just about everyone. Yes, it saves us time and money as we can connect across the globe without traveling. And it is my hope that by sharing this short video with you, where 6 pairs in different stages of their relationship are testing this theory of 4 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact, you will feel inspired to no longer pass people by. Luminita, the Founder of PurposeFairy, is an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality. Lieberman cites more than 1,000 published and unpublished studies — he found our need for social connection is a survival instinct as important as food, water, and shelter. Feels pretty awful, right? Probably pretty good, right? So be real, but also put your best foot forward. For starters, some of us are confused about what connection actually means. And doesn’t everybody want to be heard? Thankfully I have that in my significant other but human beings need human connection in all facets of life, everyone is depressed and mental illness is on the rise, while genuine human communication is on the decline. With the many things we have to do on a regular basis and all the thoughts that run through our minds, it can be quite challenging to give the people in our lives all the attention, 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Book Page, Carl G. Jung Archetypes: The 4 Stages of Life. It’s an exchange of emotion. the power of human connections cannot be under-estimated…if counseling and therapy are the cure for mental issues then connecting and communicating and socializing(the real … Another study shows that the brain recognizes our names as part of our core identity. He made a promise early on to take up “the responsibility to connect with humanity” by trying to “meet people and get to know their lives.”. And we all know what a fierce conversation is, right? And, as Sean says, the person who’s able to control their energy the best is the most powerful person in the room. The Genuine Human Connection: Authentic, Meaningful Conversations July 28, 2019 By Sarah McVanel Leave a Comment Imagine you are at a conference, and you don’t see the typical, perfectly presented people standing on the stage, sharing … Of course you should! The key to an unforced, genuine connection is openness. No lying. Now that is a scary thought. The Value and Importance of Human Connections. It brings a lot of fun to the table, as you and your spouse won’t be afraid to show off your weirdest habits. But if we can just simply practice this simple exercise… If we could just look into people’s eyes and see them for who they truly are, the quality of all our relationships will improve. A human connection is showing that you have an awareness that a … Time to you is not time to everybody else. That’s quite the difference. That’s because we’ve all got opinions and wisdom to share, but it’s rare that someone gives us the opportunity to offer those fruits. “Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. A simple touch can convey the fact that you’re a warm person and increase their connection with you. Sean met the Dalai Lama at an event where both of them were speakers. She’s a passionate supporter of appreciating the beauty of the world through travel, food and art. Many people disagree with the policies of the first person on our list but almost everybody who has come into contact with him says he’s charming. And when you open yourself up to what they have to say, most likely they’ll be more open to whatever you have to say. How does he do this? By putting our thoughts on hold for the other person, we create more space for them to open up with us. “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ~ Brené Brown. Research shows us that loneliness is on the rise, and that a lack of human connection can be more harmful to your health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. Neuroscientists have even named a phenomenon after the power of hearing our names spoken. [1] In today’s age, we live busy lives, trying to strike a balance between work, school, hobbies, self-care and more. Real human connection comes first. Because they smelled nice? The Human Connection in a Digital World. As Sean points out. And, importantly, they will have some substance; sure, you both love to … Use some of the other tips above, like hit pause and listen or ask creative questions, to generate dialogue with the person you’re talking to. So share your trials and tribulations. While the Dalai Lama has spoken about compassion and connection often, Sean also learned by observing how the spiritual leader interacted with the people around him. As a multiethnic American, she grew up learning and loving other cultures. We all long to be seen, heard, loved, and understood. As we said earlier, “conversation” doesn’t mean “monologue” or “one-man performance.” Both sides have to participate equally in answering questions, asking questions, and listening. Sometimes your insights might be spot on, profound, helpful. Sean tells this transformational story in the podcast, but through it, he learned. Don’t worry, you don’t have to agree with their opinions, but asking for someone’s opinions shows that you think what they’ve got to say is valuable. Because they had the best resume? It’s this combination that really seems to have an effect on people. We all know that first impressions matter (science confirms this) so how do we make a good one? By smiling with his entire body. works: Instead of reacting to what the other person says right after they tell you something, pause for 3 seconds. If you have a real connection with someone, your conversations will be easy and free flowing, not awkward. That makes perfect sense. How to use connection in a sentence. We’re serious here. So when you meet someone, ask for their name, repeat it back, remember it, and then use it in conversation. Other times they might not be welcome. Study after study reports that as social animals, humans need each other. There is the truth about the status of a … How often do you listen, like really, really listen? Each of the individuals above has a different story, but the one thing that they all had in common was that they wanted to connect with others and they cared about how they made others feel. He had already broken 300 bones in his body due to a deep of. I really feel you will love that by his teens, he observed some of the qualities really... Been able to talk about 50 % of his has put him on the web wonders! In front of the entire team ” According to Sean important person in the room is the one right front! Square pictures on Instagram inspired by Sean what is genuine human connection s a core, human experiences on the same stage as Dalai. Both have been able to talk about 50 % of the qualities that really seems to an. 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